Did you wake up one morning and realize that your life was nothing like you had imagined it would be? Or perhaps you're looking in the mirror wondering who is that person staring back at you. Do you sometimes sit and daydream about what you really want your life to be like?
Welcome to my reality. I woke up to being 50 lbs. overweight, eating nothing but junk food, yelling at my poor children and drifting further and further from my husband. Let's not forget the lackluster career drive from being a stay-at-home mom for almost eleven years. Did staying at home mean my house was clean? No way! It just meant that at least half the dishes were clean and there were clean clothes in a laundry basket somewhere in the house.
Then came my big jump into freelance writing. I have been writing for years, however, I never gave nonfiction writing a try because it seemed to hard for me. After jumping in head first over the last few months, I know that I can make a career out of this. Then reality kicked in. Can I have a career and take care of my family at the same time? By the looks of my house and my empty cabinets, my husband would loudly shout "NO!", but I have other plans.
I have been floundering for quite a few years to find just where the old me has gone. I'm still young, in my 30's. Yes, I have four kids, but that doesn't mean that life should be put on hold until they are grown. I want us to have great experiences together, to visit all over the U.S., to travel to Europe together, play games together, create memories. Is that too much to ask? I want a happy marriage and to enjoy my kids. Is that too much to ask? Nope.
Here's the catch; all of these things take work. Real, honest to goodness work. Am I up to the task? I have tried and failed so many times that I often question how bad I want something. Then I saw the 'success' video that you see to the right. My new motto is "How bad do I want to breathe?"
So the next year is about changing. Making big changes. Most people go through life wanting things to be different, whining about it, but doing nothing to really change it. So this is where my experiment comes into play. I'm going to kick off the whole process with some life changing habits over the next 6 weeks. They say that it only takes 28 days to make a habit. I'm giving myself a little buffer by making it 6 weeks. After that, I'll be making more and more changes at a slower rate over the following 323 days. On December 21, 2010, the question will be answered: Can a woman create the life she desires out of sheer will?
I don't know if it can be created out of sheer will but I give you all the credit for seeing the changes you want to make and doing something about it! I too have been thinking a lot of the same things in your post. I LOVE being a mom and a wife but it's easy to lose "yourself" in that scenario. Here's to 2010. This WILL be a different year for me also.
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