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Thursday, January 21, 2010

How Much Stuff is in Your Life

Thursday Toss and Tidy

Today is organization tips and tricks right? First I would like to address some of the things from yesterday. Look around at all of your stuff. How much of it brings you true joy? Honestly think about the term joy. What does it bring to mind? Playing with your kids? A night out with your significant other? Or more stuff? What if you got rid of the stuff and created a more harmonious atmosphere to live in? What if you stopped buying new stuff with the aim to spend that money on doing things with your family? How much more joyous would your life be?

Here's a trick I learned: Look at one particular area-your bed, your desk- now close your eyes and imagine it clean. Everything is cleared off and straightened. Now open your eyes and merge the two images together. You should feel a new surge of inspiration in order to clean it. Set a timer and see how much you can accomplish in 5,10,15, or even 20 min.

Want to do an entire room at the time? Start in one corner and work your way clockwise or counter-clockwise around the room. This saves time if you don't continue traveling back and forth across the room.

Commit to spending 30 min - 1 hour a day decluttering your home one room at a time. This may take one week or more depending on the size of your house. My home has seven rooms and a long hallway so I am doing the bathroom and the hallway in one day.

Don't forget the bloghop for Haiti. I will donate money to Compassion International Haiti Relief for every unique comment and every follower that occurs by Friday, January 22 at 12AM.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

It's All in Your Head

Wellness Wednesday

For those of you that are following this blog, you know that I have pledged to spend 10 minutes a day in meditation. These last few days I have had what Oprah Winfrey calls my 'lightbulb moment'. I realized that the condition of my health (my being overweight) was all a result of my overeating. Okay, not rocket science. But I realized that my overeating wasn't because I liked food (which I do). It's from feeling out of control, from feeling less-than, from feeling as if every situation around me is helpless. To quote a cliche', I have been eating my feelings for about 5 years. That's a long, long time.

Transfer that to my feeling trapped by the chaos and the clutter in my home and it's a recipe for a very angry woman. The problem being that my feelings of anger and helplessness created the chaos that I live in. It's a vicious circle that has continued on until today.

This epiphany that I wasn't my feelings and that I can be as healthy as I want to be was a smack in the face. I know that it sounds dumb for a woman in her 30's to "discover" these truths. But it wasn't that my brain didn't understand. It was that my heart and soul didn't understand. In order to be healthy, the mind, body and soul must all be in alignment. When one of them is missing then things do not run smoothly. My health is a result of the choices I make. Whether past, present, or future these are all my decisions. If my body is not calm then neither will my mind and spirit, the converse is true also.

Take a moment today and reflect on why your life/health is the way that it is. Are you overweight? Maybe you're thin but you stay tired all of the time. Are your emotions out of sinc? Do you fly off the handle and snap at people often? How healthy do you want to be and what steps do you need to accomplish it?


Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Love is not Selfish, Are You?

Togetherness Tuesday

In following along with The Love Dare, we come to the subject of selfishness. When a husband or wife puts their wants ahead of their spouses needs this is selfish. Even if our intentions are noble, if it is sacrificing our spouses needs then we are being selfish. How many times have you been guilty of this? I know that this has happened to me quite often. It most often manifests in the fact that I would much rather take the time to accomplish what I believe is necessary while my children or husband have certain needs that should be met in order to make them feel loved, wanted and secure. Today marks a changing point in my selfish ways. I will focus more on what my husband needs to feel loved instead of what I think will make him feel that way.


Don't forget to help the Haiti victims by leaving a comment or becoming a follower.

Monday, January 18, 2010

BlogHop for Haiti- I'll donate money and you can help out too.

I have been searching for a way to help the people of Haiti but had yet to come up with something other than a few dollars. That is until I found Tania over at Larger Family Life hosting Bloghop for haiti. As of today, it's official, the bloghop for Haiti starts  and will run through Friday, January 22. This is open to anyone with a blog that wants to raise money and awareness for the Haitian victims. I will personally donate .25 for every comment on this blog, .50 for every follower that joins between now and Friday. I will also donate all google sense proceeds between Monday nd Friday. If you would like to donate money or join the Blog Hop for Haiti then click on over to Larger Family Life and find out more.

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Ruth from the Bible and Other Spiritual Revelations

Spiritual Sunday

Before I get into what I learned from Ruth I want to discuss the unrest that I have found happens in my very soul when I do not spend time meditating and connecting to the spirit within. It is nothing short of night and day in how I handle different situations. It is a necessity to find the quiet place that exists in every one of us and to find the peacefulness that rules us. It is important to remember that we are in control of our emotions not our emotions in control of us. When we allow our emotions to overrule our thoughts we create a recipe for hurt feelings and out of control actions.

Now on to Ruth. The essence of the story comes down to a woman who followed her heart and had faith in where God would lead her. She had the courage to ignore the hatred heaped upon foreigners and married the man she fell in love with. Upon his death she followed her mother in law to the hated country only to make a new life there. This she did although fearful of what she would come to find. Her faith allowed her to have a life that was beyond her wildest dreams.

I have learned that if we allow ourselves to step out of our comfort zone and follow what we know to be our true path then we will have success beyond our wildest dreams. That success will come in many forms, but it will come by our own standard.

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Do you have a schedule for your career dreams?

Career Super Saturday

After writing out your career goals it's time to create a plan of action. This requires a schedule that breaks down your monthly, weekly and daily activities that must be done to accomplish your career goals. An example is: my current career goals are to publish 6 novels this year, continue freelance writing and create a passive income with my new blog experiment. This involves some serious time management issues. I find that I accomplish a great deal more when I have a plan. To accomplish such feats I must write one draft per month, revising and editing it over the next month, I must also spend 15-20 hours a week blogging along with 20 hours a week of writing for various clients.

Have you decided what you must do to accomplish your career goals? Are they realistic? Do you have the determination to reach your goals?

Friday, January 15, 2010

How is Your Relationship with Your Kids?

Family Friday

Do you spend time with your kids? Really? I'm not talking about transporting them from one place to another, getting ready for school, eating in the car, or even just being in the same room together. Do you play games with your kids? How about eating at the same table together? How much do you know about your kids?




Stop, breath, think. Take a look at your average day/week. How much time do you actually interact with your children? Or for that matter, any of your family? None of us are here forever. Strive to take a few moments today and this week to invest in your family. Give lots of hugs and kisses, read stories, bake together, sit at the table together, whatever needs to be done.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Creating a Routine

Toss and Tidy Thursday

This week I want you to work on your kitchen and your master bedroom. I chose these two rooms because: in order to make nutritious meals at home you must have a clean kitchen and in order to have some sense of peace in our lives it helps to have our bedrooms be our place of rest and not chaos.



I am cleaning challenged. I know that there are others out there like me. I have tried many different techniques with trying to get control of my ability (of lack there of) to keep my house clean. So I've come up with a plan to help create a more managable way to clean the house. This week's assignments are the first real step to more organization.

In the kitchen, the assignment is to keep the sink and counters clean. The plan is to use a timer for 10-15 minute intervals throughout the day until this area is clean. Try to keep it clean throughout the day by cleaning the dishes instead of just laying them in the sink (I don't have a dishwasher). If that's not possible, then I'll set aside 10-15 minutes after each meal to do a quick clean up. Before bed I will take 5 minutes to do a quick clean up and wipe down the sink as well. Each of the three oldest kids will be assigned two nights a week to help with the dinner dishes. One day a week will be an overall kitchen cleanup.



In the bedroom, I will make my bed. Yes, it's that simple.I will make the bed up as soon as I get out of bed. If hubby or a kid or two are still in it then it will be made up as soon as they have vacated the area. I will do a quick sweep and dusting at least once a week.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Eliminating Sodas and Junk Food

Wellness Wednesday

I've begun weeding Coke, Mountain Dew and other sodas out of my life. If you knew me you would know that this is a huge step. Drinking caffeine has kept me awake on a regular basis. When I hit day three, four and five I thought my head would explode. But that never happeneed. I did have to pop some over the counter pain pills to ease the caffieine withdrawal. Now I'm just drinking a couple of cups of coffee every few days. One good reason to eliminate Coca-Cola and other sodas is the chemicals in them are really not safe. Just google uses for Coca-Cola and you will notice that the military uses it to clean the deck of their ships. If you put a tooth in a glass of Coke it will dissintegrate over hours! Is this stuff what you want in your body? I know it tastes good, but there are lots of foods that taste good that have no 'real' food in them.
Which leads me to the subject of junk food. I will say again that I am a true junk food addict. So this week I am going to  strive to stop eating too many processed foods. I will attempt to go at least three days without processed foods.

On a side note: I have an amazing project that is going to launch soon so keep reading to hear more about it.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Are You a Kind Person?

Togetherness Tuesday

According to The Love Dare the first step is patience. I've been practicing this for about a week. The Love Dare is suppose to be one day at a time. I'm moving more at a week at a time and applying it to my husband and my kids.

Today we start with kindness. What exactly is kindness? Here is what I have come to determine.

Kindness is:

Gentleness-doing all things in a calm, controlled manner. Keeping your voice at a gentle tone and your hands touch easily, not roughly.

Helpfulness-meeting the needs of those you love-doing what needs to be done. If that means cooking and housework then get to work, if that means driving someone somewhere then do it. If it means washing your daughter's favorite sweater at 10PM then do it.

Willingness-instead of being stubborn and pigheaded or complaining and making excuses, you look for ways to compromise

Initiative- take the first step. Don't wait for you hubby to come to you, you go to him and give him a kiss hello or goodbye. You make the first move towards creating a more harmonious atmosphere.

Time to put this into practice and see how my husband and children respond.

 What are your feelings about this exercise? Did you think that kindness meant so many things? Do you think showing more kindness would make a difference in your marriage?

Monday, January 11, 2010

Where is your money going?

Money Saving Monday

You wrote out your budget. How did it go? Is there more money coming in or going out? Or are you breaking even? If there is more money going out then it's time to take action. Time to cut spending until there is more money coming in. Try cutting out some extras on your cable or satellite tv. Perhaps you don't need that Starbucks fix every day, maybe every other day. The easiest place to cut back in on your grocery budget or eating out. The eating out thing is easy, STOP EATING OUT SO MUCH! There, problem solved. (We'll get more detailed later.) Right now take a look at the extras that are obvious that you could cut out with little to no effort.

Meal Planning Monday
This may look a lot like last weeks menu. That's because we ended up eating hamburgers, hot dogs and spaghetti for half the week. So here's the dinner menu for this week. Hoping to stick to it but I'm not sure I have the ground meat for the lasagna and the meatloaf. I may end up making 15 bean soup with Italian sausage I found in the freezer.

As for breakfasts, we'll be having items similar to last week: eggs, grits, bacon, oatmeal, fruit. This week will be french toast sticks from homemade bread and homemade orange and grapefruit juice. I love my juicer.
 

spinach lasagna and homemade Italian bread
spinach meatloaf, steamed veggies, mashed potatoes, rolls
crockpot chicken, steamed carrots, potatoes au gratin, rolls
chicken and dumplings
white chicken chili and cornbread

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Rediscovering Womanhood and Spirituality

Spiritual Sunday

I've decided that the best way to discover the source of the true feminine spirit is to study women throughout religious history. I am going to study women of the Bible, goddesses of ancient Greece and Rome, as well as important women in the history of the world.  This week I'll be studying Ruth from the Bible. I want to know the woman who is known to many.

I also wish to encourage other women to learn more about themselves and about women throughout history. We are not meant to be silent. We are meant to be the other half of men. Men and women are the yen and yang of the world. Neither is better than the other, we are created to compliment one another. The phrase "my better half" is often used in casual conversation. That statement is partially right. We are the other half of each other. Is that to say that one must be married in order to be whole? No. We must first love ourselves and be a whole person before we can fully love anyone else. We must find our own paths in life and not allow others to destroy what we know in our hearts to be true. As women we sometimes forget that although having others in our lives is a blessing, we are not servants to the whim of others. We are beings with spiritual and physical needs that must be nourished in order to nourish our families and friends.

Saturday, January 9, 2010

Career Goals for 2010

Career Saturday

Whether you have a 9 to 5 job, own your own business, freelance from home, or telecommute a new year brings new possibilities. Setting goals is the first step towards success. All it takes is 30 - 45 minutes of your time, a pen and a notebook.

  
1)Clarify your dream/vision

What is your dream for your business or future of your career? What direction do you want it to take and why? Is it for financial freedom? Is it just something you love to do? Find a notebook and start writing. 
Ask yourself why you started this business? (Is it to spend more time at home?) Why are you in the career position that you are in and where do you want to be at the end of the year.

Also write down what exactly you are offering in your business. (Build a successful catering company that specializes in providing high end wedding food.) 
Or do you want to move up in the company you are in? Why should you be promoted? If you're not sure then determine what you can do to make your boss take notice.


2) Write a mission statement for your business/career.



3)Write out your goals. Where do you want to be in one year? Five years? Ten?

4)Create a plan to reach those goals. Start with the one year goal and then determine what you must do to get there. It helps to work your way backwards until you determine what you must do on a daily basis in order to reach those goals. Planning is worthless without action. You can view my annual career goals here. I will post my weekly plan next week.

Friday, January 8, 2010

Family Friday

Today's post started out as some long drawn out article only to be cut short by no school today. It snowed last night so all of my children were bursting at the seems to get outside before breakfast. I know I should have made them eat first but they were so excited that I couldn't say no. Before I could even get my clothes on this morning they were dressed in layer upon layer of clothing, coats zipped, scarves, hats and gloves on. So my advice for today's family Friday is to take advantage of life's unexpected moments(something I'm still learning). These are the moments the kids will remember. We even managed to collect some snow and make snow ice cream. I got mixed reactions from the kids. Some loved it, some didn't like it at all.


Here's the recipe: 1 gallon of snow, 1 can of condensed milk, 1 cup of sugar, 1 tbsp. of vanilla and a tbsp. of salt. Mix the sugar, salt, vanilla and snow together then slowly stir in the milk. Eat immediately if possible.


My youngest showing me his "snowballs".




My two boys and the youngest girl. Notice the little ones hat covered in snow? His sister is to thank for that.




The one leaning into the box is the oldest. She found more snow to throw at everyone. The others are quickly trying to get her.

 
My oldest daughter is coming after me with more snowballs.



My youngest is pondering 'skating' on the ice in the swimming pool. I'm about to get pegged with yet another snowball.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Organizing Thursday-decluttering my home

I tried to come up with some clever catch phrase to go with Thursday but I couldn't. Oh well. My home is a constant stagnant flow of chaos and clutter. I realize that those two adjectives are in direct conflict but they seem to fit my home. You see, come clutter comes in and some goes out, but not without having stayed for a while or traded spaces with other clutter that has been around for a while. So now it's time for the clutter to go. My goal is to spend 10 min in every room at least 5 days a week, decluttering and cleaning. The decluttering starts this week. Once this is done, I will move on to the deep cleaning. For now I will be happy to free my mind and my space from the clutter that threatens to suffocate me. Clutter is an evil thing that can take over your home and cause your mind to be cluttered and frustrated. This can make you irritable and cranky and make you yell at your loved ones. Trust me, I know. I declare today my independence day. I WILL be free from clutter and free to love.

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Wellness Wednesday-starting from scratch

For the next week I will follow a few guidelines and see how the weight just falls off. :) Ok sure, that might work. First you should know that up until now my exercise is hit and miss. As in hit 1 day and miss the next 20. So my exercise vow this week is to move more. I will do squats, sit ups, crunches, push ups or light weight training exercises at least 10 minutes per day. If I can do more then I will. But the goal is 10 minutes EVERY DAY.

Now for the eating changes. I am an official junk food junkie. I love cakes, candy bars, anything sweet. I also love carbs. I mean Loooooove carbs. I would much rather have a stack of pancakes for breakfast than eggs or bacon.

So this week I am eliminating fast food (which is pretty simple because we've already blown our restaurant budget through the 15th). I plan on drinking a minimum of 32oz. of water per day. It doesn't sound like a lot, but for me it's progress. I will limit it to no more than 20oz of Coke/sodas per day. I drank an entire 2 liter just a few days ago so this is serious progress for me. As for how much I eat, I plan on keeping busy with work and household chores so that I don't end up snacking in front of the tv. I will also aim to eat no later than 6PM every night.

I've lost 2lbs. in two weeks but I'm hoping the changes I'm making this week will give me a boost. What are you doing for your health?

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Togetherness Tuesday

Do you have this wonderful, fairy-tale marriage or are you sitting in the floor wondering what the hell happened to your prince charming? Well after twelve years of marriage I found myself in the latter group. I figured that no one else was going to be able to help me with this so I decided to take matters into my own hands. I decided to change myself and pray that my hubby would follow suit.

This week I am going to find my patience. No matter what he says or does, I am going to try my best not to say anything negative. As a matter-of-fact, I'm going to let anything he says or does just blow away with the wind. I'm sure this will be hard. I will persevere.

Monday, January 4, 2010

Money Saving Monday

The beginning of a new year and time to set some financial goals. I've already stated that I want to be debt free by the end of the year. In order to accomplish my goals I have developed a budget. This was done by writing out all of our monthly expenses then listing our income. My income fluctuates according to how much work I bring in. With this being said, I created a budget with my husband's income, using my income to pay for my car payment and insurance. I also calculated how much extra I would need in order to become free of our credit cards in six months. This amount I added to what my monthly income needed to be. It's a pretty steep amount, but if I do some creative time management it can be done without putting my 2 yr old in daycare.

Do you know where your money goes? Can you account for every penny or do you get to the end of the month and wonder what the hell happened to your money? Worse yet, do play beat the bank and float checks hoping that the paycheck comes in before the check you wrote clears the bank?

I am guilty of all of those things at one time or another. Now I have a written record of finances and where the money is suppose to go each month. If you’re as lost as I use to be then here are a few steps to help you out.

Write out all of your fixed expenses. Mortgage, rent, utilities, groceries, gas, etc. Now list your credit cards or loans on there too. If you’re not sure of your grocery or gas expenses then over the next month write down every time you go to the grocery store or stop at the gas station. (If you want a true average then keep track for three months and then find the average)

Now write down your income for the month and subtract your expenses. If your expenses outweigh your income then you need to find ways to cut corners. The best place to start is the grocery bill. Try buying generic brands or planning out your meals.

If you really have to cut out some things try reducing your satellite or cable package. Do this with your phone bill as well. If you can make do with one car then perhaps you could sell one or trade in one for a more economical model.

If your income exceeds your expenses that is wonderful news! Try to put money into an interest building savings account. Pick a percentage to put back every pay period or month. Even $5-$10 a month makes a difference.

Final note, when creating a budget be sure to include amounts for savings, entertainment such as eating out and trips to the movies, medical and dental expenses, fees for sports or school, any other miscellaneous you might think of.

Along with saving money comes meal planning. I'm joining the Pantry Challenge over at Money Saving Mom so my $500 grocery budget is down to $180 for the month. I've spent $150 so I have $30 for juice and milk later this month. Here's the plan: eat out of the pantry for the month of January.

Here's the plan for this week:

Breakfasts:
oatmeal, toast, fruit
homemade cinnamon buns
eggs, bacon
pumpkin muffins
grits, bacon
homemade toaster pastries
pancakes/waffles, bacon, fruit

Lunch:
sandwiches
leftovers
soup
hot dogs and homemade fries

Dinner: (in no certain order)
tacos
spinach lasagna and homemade italian bread
spinach meatloaf, steamed veggies, mashed potatoes, rolls
homemade pizza
crockpot chicken, steamed carrots, potatoes au gratin, rolls
chicken and dumplings
white chicken chili and cornbread

Next week I'll try to post recipes.

Sunday, January 3, 2010

Spiritual Sunday

"May what I write ring true for someone else so that they will not feel alone in this world." This is my prayer for my Spiritual Sunday posts.

I'd love to start off by saying that I had some elaborate dream or some amazing epiphany that set me on this spiritual journey. But that wouldn't be the truth. In truth, I was raised a Christian. Southern Baptist to be exact. Nothing gets you "saved" faster than the fear of going to Hell.

I was never a person that went to church often until I was an adult. Long story short, the church (in general) and I had a "falling out". Over the years since then I have struggled with many aspects of Christianity. One of which being the whole "wives submit to your husbands" aspect. I've never understood this. I've tried. Over and over I have tried and failed. I've studied the different aspects of the situation and the reasoning behind it and no matter how much I wanted to feel at peace with it. I still struggled. So I began investigating deeply into Christianity and other religions. This brought me to the book The Dance of the Dissident Daughter by Sue Monk Kidd. Upon reading it I discovered that God is not simply male but female. The divine has both masculine and feminine qualities so that one without the other is lost.

This is just the beginning of my journey in discovering my true feminine self. I hope that each week will reveal something new. If you're a Christian struggling with your faith I recommend Dance of the Dissident Daughter. If the wife of a minister can have doubts then most anyone can.