Love is not Selfish, Are You?

Togetherness Tuesday

In following along with The Love Dare, we come to the subject of selfishness. When a husband or wife puts their wants ahead of their spouses needs this is selfish. Even if our intentions are noble, if it is sacrificing our spouses needs then we are being selfish. How many times have you been guilty of this? I know that this has happened to me quite often. It most often manifests in the fact that I would much rather take the time to accomplish what I believe is necessary while my children or husband have certain needs that should be met in order to make them feel loved, wanted and secure. Today marks a changing point in my selfish ways. I will focus more on what my husband needs to feel loved instead of what I think will make him feel that way.


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Are You a Kind Person?

Togetherness Tuesday

According to The Love Dare the first step is patience. I've been practicing this for about a week. The Love Dare is suppose to be one day at a time. I'm moving more at a week at a time and applying it to my husband and my kids.

Today we start with kindness. What exactly is kindness? Here is what I have come to determine.

Kindness is:

Gentleness-doing all things in a calm, controlled manner. Keeping your voice at a gentle tone and your hands touch easily, not roughly.

Helpfulness-meeting the needs of those you love-doing what needs to be done. If that means cooking and housework then get to work, if that means driving someone somewhere then do it. If it means washing your daughter's favorite sweater at 10PM then do it.

Willingness-instead of being stubborn and pigheaded or complaining and making excuses, you look for ways to compromise

Initiative- take the first step. Don't wait for you hubby to come to you, you go to him and give him a kiss hello or goodbye. You make the first move towards creating a more harmonious atmosphere.

Time to put this into practice and see how my husband and children respond.

 What are your feelings about this exercise? Did you think that kindness meant so many things? Do you think showing more kindness would make a difference in your marriage?

Togetherness Tuesday

Do you have this wonderful, fairy-tale marriage or are you sitting in the floor wondering what the hell happened to your prince charming? Well after twelve years of marriage I found myself in the latter group. I figured that no one else was going to be able to help me with this so I decided to take matters into my own hands. I decided to change myself and pray that my hubby would follow suit.

This week I am going to find my patience. No matter what he says or does, I am going to try my best not to say anything negative. As a matter-of-fact, I'm going to let anything he says or does just blow away with the wind. I'm sure this will be hard. I will persevere.