31 Days of Purposeful Living

There's only ninety some odd days left in the year and my schedule is crazier than ever. For some reason the busier things become the more I cling to searching Facebook or vegging out in front of the television. So today I'm starting purposeful living. I can still do fun stuff, but I set a timer and once it goes off I have to move on to the next thing.

No more making the to-do list and then not acting on it. Come on, I know there are others out there that love to make lists that disappear into no-man's land or worse into "I'll just do it tomorrow". I'm raising both hands at this point. :)

Today's list includes:

•  washing my sheets and the clothes needed for tomorrow and this weekend (plenty of kids' activities going on)
• work (ghostwriting)
• sew stuff on kids uniforms
• take cat to vet (not looking forward to this)
• working on website for charity 5k run (30 min)
• drink minimum of 4 (8oz) glasses of water
• 30 min exercise

The Most Awesome Guide to Your At-Home Summer Camp

Do you greet the idea of Spring Break or Summer Vacation with joy and dread? 

 You love spending time with your kids but get overwhelmed with the chaos that ensues. 

 As a mother of four, I completely understand. The summers get crazier and crazier so I thought what better way to handle things then Summer Camp! Off I went to find out what awesome activities there were for my kids to experience. I found plenty being in a suburb of Atlanta. There are science camps, art camps, traditional camps and a great deal other choices that can cause a bit of information overload if you aren’t careful. Then I ran into a problem that I believe a lot of families have. THE PRICE!! Oh my gosh, just day camps ranged from $100 to $300 per person per week. While overnight camps were into the thousand dollar price! If you have just one kid this may or may not be a problem. Add 1 or more and things can add up quickly. Let’s not forget the gas money as well. Some of the camps I investigated were 45 minutes away. That meant I would be driving THREE hours a day to drop off and pick up. That is a lot of gas.

The solution?

I created an entire book of Summer Camp ideas to keep my kiddos busy. This book includes ten different themed camp ideas with specific activities, decorations, foods, games and field trip ideas. I used my research to figure out different themes to entertain kids of all ages and interests.

Why not share this with other moms struggling with the ‘I’m Bored’ syndrome? 

I formatted everything into a PDF and beefed it up a little so that the average mom has to do very little research. Now the Stay at Home Summer Camp Guide includes:

• Tips on how to decide which Summer Camp idea to use

• Tips on making things run smoothly (prep work)

• A sample weekly schedule

• A sample daily schedule

• 10 detailed camp themes each with their own list of activities, games, etc

• 16 additional camp themes each with their own descriptive paragraph of how to come up with your own activities

Great for Spring Break and Summer Vacation

I realize that summer vacation is quickly approaching so I wanted to do something special for those that are wondering what to do with the 8-12 weeks of no school.

The guide will sell at $9.95 starting at midnight on the morning of March 7, 2015.

I'm putting this on a big birthday sale.(In honor of my youngest's birthday.

  For March 5th and 6th I've reduced the price to $1.99

Adventure is Out There (while I've been hiding in here)

Is there anything that you've been wanting to do but haven't had the money/time? I'm not talking about dropping everything and taking a trip across the world. Us moms don't necessarily have that luxury. At least this mom doesn't. My husband is the breadwinner so we have to stay here for his job. No selling the house and travelling the US in an RV for the year.

But that doesn't mean there aren't adventures to be had. The problem has always been, but I really need to get the laundry done this weekend or the house is a mess, we can't take off for the day. The reality is that if I am doing these things on a daily basis then that leaves more time for adventure.

I've been using my dirty house and my out-of-shape body as a way of hiding away like I'm waiting for the perfect time to have a "REAL" adventure. The truth is that there are new and exciting experiences just waiting for all of us. And I've been holding my family back with promises of 'maybe next year' or 'we just can't afford it right now'.

The hard truth? I haven't made the effort to keep the finances on track or to stop buying stuff that can be made into new stuff that I can sell one day. Well if I would stop buying the stuff then we would have way more money in the bank to go on fun adventures. If I would take my child-free school days and clean and organize and do laundry then there would be plenty of free time for adventures.

Do I feel guilty for going out knowing that no one has clean clothes for tomorrow? Um YES.
Would I feel guilty if there were two loads of laundry left and everyone had plenty of clean clothes? NO!

2015 is the time to do my homemaker job so that we don't have to wait one more day for adventure and enjoying a real life.

Find What Makes You Miserable and You'll Find Your Goals

The Home: I spend a lot of time in my room attached to the computer. Well, I did until I started this challenge. Now I am moving back and forth through the kitchen and laundry room and occasionally I'll stumble into the dining room and living room to sweep and mop. You see, I don't like those rooms. We have hand-me-down furniture that sinks when you sit on it and smells horribly like dogs. They smelled like that before we got them. And our dining room table is nothing more than a dumping ground. When we first moved in I had decided no food beyond the living room and most, if not all, meals should be eaten at the dining room table. That lasted for about 6 months and then my lazy gene kicked in.

I didn't want to sit down at family meals where everyone fought.
I didn't want to deal the constant complaints that someone was showing off their half eaten food.
I didn't want to hear the whining of "he's touching me" one more time.

So I let them slowly start eating in their rooms. Now, it drives me crazy. There are cups and plates left all over the house. The dining room table is always covered in crap which makes me cranky since you can't ever see the tablecloth or the fresh flowers I've purchased or even be able to stomach whatever mess has made it onto the floor because of any one of our three dogs.

I told you all of this to tell you that today I walked around with a notebook in hand to look at every room with a fresh set of eyes. If I was a potential home buyer, or even just a visitor, would this room look lived in or loved or hated? What do I love/hate about this room? Is it the clutter? Is it just the clutter? Would a good cleaning make it look more loved than it does now? Would keeping it clean allow for me to start decorating so that I would love my home more?

My Family and Marriage: I don't like the way my children treat each other. I don't like that they get home from school and soon disappear into their rooms until they are hungry or thirsty. I don't like that they spend so much time attached to the screen. I don't like that my  husband and I (while things are wayyyyy better than they were just a few years ago) don't always seem like we are on the same page with our goals and desires.

Enter in: family weekend once a month, monthly date night, limiting screen time for all of us, learning to speak nicely to one another and not be so negative

Health:Not being able to climb a flight of stairs without being winded and actually enjoy outdoor trips that I make with my family are at the top of my miserable health list.

The goal: exercise 3 times a week and changing all of our eating habits by eating less junk and making healthier food choices.

Career and Other: I am constantly miserable because I feel like there is never enough time in the day/week to get "anything" done and I am always behind. Our finances feel constantly in flux due to my not keeping exactly with our spending plan/budget.

Plan: To utilize time management which works in a certain block of time in which to accomplish what needs to get done as well as consulting with the budget/spending plan before spending any money. This time blocking technique is similar to what schools use. From this hour to this hour is English, from this hour to this hour is lunch, etc.

What makes you miserable?

January Character Challenge: Compassion

I don't believe I've mentioned that one of the things I want to accomplish this year is to become a better person as a whole and to teach my children to be better people. This month I've been considering the fact that because of experiences in my own life I don't have a great deal of compassion for others. I know it's wrong.

I know when my compassion disappeared and I know who took it. I can't share that experience here as I am writing this using my real name and I don't want to shame others for something that happened so long ago. What I do know is that I felt there was virtually no one with compassion for me during a deeply troubled time.

And while I have forgiven the person/people that led to this, I simply hardened my heart towards allowing it to happen again. When I see others hurt I have a hard time extending any soft feelings because my thinking has been "I pulled myself out of it so you can too. Suck it up." Even with my own children I have bounced between a mother's compassion and needing to teach them to be hard against the world in order to protect themselves from those that would cause them harm. It's really hard to admit that I have not been the mother that I should be because I couldn't always find compassion for my own children. Not that I have abused them, but I have been hardhearted towards them at times when most mothers would not.

After some soul searching I have found that parts of me are really ugly. Parts of my soul are rather dark because of things that have happened over the years and that I have allowed to separate me from my true spirit, from the goodness of God. (Don't worry, I'm not going to get preachy.)

I looked up the definition of compassion: a feeling of wanting to help someone who is sick, hungry, in need, hurting, etc.

I know that does not currently describe me, but I know it can. So I am starting my journey into compassion with my family. I will look at their needs and desires as a way for me to show my ability to change and to embrace that while I still need to teach them how to be productive human beings, we can all be a little more understanding and helpful to those in need around us.

Television is NOT a Necessity (No heart attacks please)

Anyone else out there addicted to the Food Network or HGTV? I'm guilty of the "I need television on for background noise. I'm not actually watching it." Yes that's a load of crap. While I may appreciate the background noise, I have learned that in all honesty, that oftentimes it does nothing more than slow down my progress of any sorts. I definitely cannot write with anything except music on. And the music cannot have words or else I'll start singing along.

But the television is it's own demon of sorts. I've noticed that my children seem to be glued to it quite often. My 11 year old takes four times as long and make way more errors in her homework if the TV is on in the same room as her.

I have decided that I might turn on some upbeat music to help keep me motivated to move faster when cleaning house, the television will only come on during my "break" times.

Are you or you kids addicted to TV? Did you know that it's recommended that we get only two hours of TV time a day? For kids it's actually two hours of SCREEN time which includes computers and video games.  Next month I'll be turning off the internet at midnight during the school week in order to break my teens' late night habits. As for the younger ones, I've created a poster with the new media rules. One hour of TV a day and only 30 minutes of video games. This will be easier once the weather gets warmer, but for now they/we will have to get creative.

For now, I will be the one embracing the quiet or listening to the uplifting music needed to tackle my home.

Do You Act This Way In Public? (or why we treat other people's homes better than ours)

I mentioned yesterday that it was time to start treating my house better than other people's homes. What does that mean? I'm sure you've been there. You washed your hands in the bathroom which resulted in water on the bathroom counter or the mirror (yes I'm messy) and you/I immediately wipe it off. Or you drop something on their floor and you immediately clean/pick it up. Do you do the same thing for your house? I am more of the "I'll do it later" type person.

I am making the vow that I will no longer treat my home differently than those I visit. After all, isn't my family more precious to me than anyone else in the world? Of course it is. My family shouldn't get second best in living conditions or second best when I'm too lazy tired to make dinner.

Still working on my "new" homemaking job. Today I finally got the boxes of Christmas decorations into the basement and realized I need a new tub to fit the remaining decorations. I swept and mopped the hardwood areas and started cleaning off the dining room table. I also cleaned out the refrigerator so that I have room for real food instead of harboring the science experiments of leftovers that have been shoved into the lost maze of the tiny shelves of my refrigerator. I still can't figure out how my little refrigerator seems to swallow the leftover containers.

Anyway, I have already made more progress by this homemaking job experiment than I did trying to make just the tiny baby steps. Now don't get me wrong. I still am making sure my maintenance work involves the dishes, the laundry and making my bed (14 days in a row, woohoo!!!!!!!). Wait, don't think that the dishes and laundry are 14 days. Just the making the bed part. Of course it helps that I had attempted to start that habit back in December.

Enough rambling. Time to change the laundry. After all, I wouldn't leave someone else's clothes sitting in the washer for hours and hours until it went sour and I had to wash it again. I wouldn't want for them to discover such a thing and I certainly would feel bad about using another scoop of detergent, more electricity and more water.

It's All About the Focus . . . Squirrel!!

I'm a rather flighty person. I've been known to be in the middle of a sentence only to stop talking because I've lost my train of thought. Who does that? While I think that's a bit on the rest and nutrition side it doesn't change the fact that I can get off task rather easily.

The internet is a big distraction for me. There, I said it. But then I can also walk into a room and forget what I went in there for. In essence it means that I have to hyper focus on what I am doing at one particular moment.

Enter my concept to look at my homemaking and role as a mom as a job. Gasp! Homemaking as a job. How dare I not see motherhood as the sacred calling that thousands of other women do? Yeah, well, as much as I love my kids and my husband, the sacred calling thing just doesn't scream that I should be grateful for mountains of dirty laundry. Go ahead, throw stones.

When you start a new job you receive training, an employee manual and a list of job duties. I am in the process of putting together a more comprehensive manual (or household binder if you will) but for now I went around my home with a spiral notebook (an idea inspired by a great friend of mine). In the notebook I looked at the house as an outsider. If someone hired me to come in and take care of their home what would they expect me to do? I went room to room asking that very question and writing down the answers in my notebook. They I got to work. Now it just so happened that today was a virtually unplanned day that worked for me to tackle things. No grocery trips, no website work to do, no sick kids.

I cleaned off the kitchen counter tops and the stove. I did three loads of laundry and folded it. I also cleaned the trash of my nightstand and my desk. Oh and since I freed up one of the laundry hampers in the kitchen (where my washer and dryer are) I was able to put that hamper in the bathroom where the kids could throw their dirty clothes instead of on the floor.

It's time to treat my house better than I would treat someone else's. But that's another post.

Weekend Monsters

As most of you know, during the week there are schedules to keep up with and the significant other only shows up at dinner for most of us. Well the weekend is way more than just getting the job done. It's a whole other monster that needs coordinating with friends, family members and making sure the kids eat lunch while they are busy doing other things. If the kids don't eat lunch at a decent time then they end up hungry at like 2 or 3pm and that throws off dinner for those of us that ate at a "normal" time.

So in a way, weekends are like summer vacation. Either they are jammed packed full of activities or they are lazy days where zero gets done and the days disappear. And while there is no school, there is greater pressure on me as mom to make sure everything gets accomplished and nothing gets eaten by the time monster.

This year is about living life to the fullest and making the most out of the 353 days we have left. I'm planning adventures and experiences along with watching the budget. In order for the year of creativity to work, I must slay the weekend monsters that threaten to make the days boring, mundane and unproductive. Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of times that people need to relax and just veg. But television and video are sucking the life out of, well, life.

Look out weekend monsters. I'm not letting laziness and lack of planning feed your mission to destroy the peace I am slowly gaining with my family and in my home. I will not be beaten. You might think about waiving the white flag.

More Than Just the Home

I realize over the last few days I have been focusing on what is or is not getting accomplished on the home front and not in the overall picture of my life. That was not the intention of this makeover challenge. Today I sat down and evaluated where I am slacking in finding that balance.

The areas that can always be enhanced upon are:

• home
• spiritual connection
• marriage
• family
• relationship with each individual kid
• health
• finances
• career

So I will incorporate at least three things from each category throughout the week. I sat down and marked every appointment in my planner that is coming up next week so that I know what amount of time I have to work with. (Yes, I still have an old fashioned paper planner. While I do have a planning/to-do app on my smartphone, I seem to remember things so much easier when I write them by hand.)

Every night, before bed, I will set aside fifteen minutes to write out the plan for the next day. A new tactic I'm going to try is called time-blocking. Here's a great explanation of time-blocking.

So what are my goals for this year?

• Home: clean, organized, welcoming to all and completely finished with renovations
• Spiritual connection: to embrace prayer and meditation and grow closer to my creator
• Marriage: establish a monthly or bi-monthly date night while learning to have fun together again
• Family: create a closer knit family and teach my kids about becoming productive people with good character and a strong work ethic
• Relationship with each kid: learn more about what they like and dislike and dig more in-depth about what they want to do in life-more one-on-one time
• Health: to lose a total of 50 pounds, become stronger and help my kids to make healthier choices
• Finances: to finally pay off all debt and build a strong savings account
• Career: continue writing and developing my children's series while studying about the restaurant business for a future endeavor

I realize that these are all lofty goals even when you are addressing them individually and to tackle them all is very ambitious. That's where I always think "shoot for the moon and you'll land among the stars". I will be thirty-nine this year and I don't want to be where I am today at the same time next year.

This will be the year where I make real and lasting changes. What about you? Do you have goals you want to achieve? Are you happy where you are or are you simply comfortable? I've been whining about my weight for close to a decade (which is really freaking depressing when you think about it) but today I did something about it. I am no longer a victim of circumstances. This isn't just about goals. This year, 2015, is about looking at what I don't like about my life as a set of challenges that I will meet head on.

What's on the schedule this weekend?


Due to most of my family being gone tomorrow and Sunday I will be doing a major cleaning, writing and laundry boost. Somewhere in there I will play a few games with my youngest and maybe take him to the local bouncy house place. They have wi-fi so I can write while he jumps.

Complete Honesty Even Though It Hurts

I did all of the dishes yesterday, cleaned most of the counter tops and cleaned my stove. Here's how bad it was: I found (in a stack of cookie sheets and dishes) the roasting pan that I cooked the turkey in FOR THANKSGIVING. Yes, things had been piled upon it and even though there was no turkey in it (thank God!) it still had not been washed out. Yes it is 2015 and I had somehow not seen that my Thanksgiving roasting pan never made it to the sink. I read somewhere that is called Time Passage Awareness Disorder. You have no idea how much time actually passes in which something exists in your everyday life.

No, it's not a real disorder. It's a term that Nony over at A Slob Comes Clean has created.

Upon that disgusting discovery(and after cleaning the pan) I decided I had to put away the rest of the groceries that were still sitting in their plastic bags. And that is where my plans for the day changed. While I had planned to sit down at the keyboard and start on the stuff for my paying client, the ants in my pantry had other plans. They had attacked a bag of jerky that someone in the house had put back but not fully closed. But they didn't stop there. They were scattered on several shelves. It was that point that I had to empty the ENTIRE pantry or risk missing something and losing more food that someone forgot to close properly. In a family with four kids it can happen quite easily.

Out went virtually everything and then I had to wipe down the shelves hoping to deter any further ant issues. I took half open boxes and dumped the contents into containers that I had picked up here and there from Goodwill, thrift shops and yard sales months ago (with the full intention of using them to keep the food in the pantry fresh and safe from bugs). It took the ant fiasco to make me use the containers.

Thankfully my kids are old enough to entertain themselves so I was able to knock it out in 2 hours instead of the all day/night event it would have been had they been littles that need constant attention.

So now I must spend the next four days alternating between my housework that I promised to do and writing. My deadline is looming and I have to eliminate all distractions. No more going to bed when my husband does. I'll move to the living room or the dining room to write until I complete each section of the project in front of me. Sleep will have to be sacrificed.

Today and the next few days will be about getting my basic to-do list completed.
Wash all dishes
Wipe off stove and counters
Complete one load of laundry
Make bed

Kicking Myself (or not)

Life often gets in the way of the best laid plans. Hubby had me on a mission yesterday so, other than blogging and doing a load of dishes, I got nothing done. Anyone else ever start working on one thing, leave the room to put something away and then start doing something else in the other room only to realize that you left the original mess unfinished? Maybe it's just me.

I've decided to alter my goals for this week due to the fact that I have to finish my project for my PAYING client. It's called priorities and because this particular payment will go towards one specific bill I need to get it completed ASAP.

I will tackle my sink, counter tops and stove top in order to keep my promise to cook all of our meals at home. I will set the timer so that I spend no more than 30 minutes at a time on this task. Every night I will make sure that each of these surfaces are free of clutter and wiped down.

On the laundry front I have  amended my plan to include one load of clothes per day which includes folding, putting them away and ironing where needed. I will also put a load of towels in every night before bed so that they are ready to go into the dryer first thing in the morning. There is nothing like getting ready to take a shower only to realize there are ZERO clean towels. Not even a hand towel available. And I won't even mention the whole "how come I don't have clean underwear" discussion that my husband has almost given up on me.

Not sure if anyone is reading but this has definitely given me a perspective of how I use my day and how procrastinating can and will bite me in the butt because there are always unexpected things that will pop up.

On a side note, I'm putting myself on a thrift store ban. I love buying stuff that I can rework/reuse but more often than not they end up as clutter until I either get around to refurbishing them or the get donated to Goodwill. For the entire month of January (starting today) I am no longer allowed inside a thrift store or Goodwill.

Real Life Checks In

Yesterday started my official "mommy makeover" and all I have to say is that you have to be thankful for what you accomplish and let the rest go. What did I accomplish? Well my to-do list is over here. The reality is that maybe I achieved half. Well sort of.

I washed three loads of laundry, dried two and folded zero. Yeah, I know. But right now clean laundry is clean laundry. Today will include folding and for me to spend at least 30 minutes ironing because ironing a new shirt every freaking morning is getting old. Not to mention I don't do quite as good a job when I'm rushed. Everyone's life is easier if all clothes are clean and ready for them to pull out of their closets.  But now I'm rambling.

I did make my bed and as I write this post I have already made my bed for today.
Spent 10 min in the kitchen instead of 30. But I'm not going to have a hissy fit about it. Today is a new day and I have set my alarm to tell me to stop writing and go clean the kitchen.

As for writing, I completed two blog posts. One for Mommy Makeover and one for Operation: Ditch the Junk Food. Other than that, writing was a bust.

Lastly I packed lunches for everyone. That was a new experience. I am normally throwing stuff into lunchboxes the morning of and hoping I have enough stuff for each person.

Lessons learned:

• I have to start my day sooner than 10AM. 
• I have to stay off of random homemaking blogs. (Or at least set a timer) I go online to read one post and 2-3 hours later I'm reading something I found three blogs ago. 
• Set a timer for Facebook. While a complete ban of Facebook would possibly be ideal, I belong to several weight loss, writing and other groups where I go to for support. 
• Remind myself that tasks like sweeping the floor or organizing one drawer probably don't take as long as I think they will. Just set a timer and work as fast as I can.
• Block off my time. Just like a school day is scheduled in blocks of time, it would be greatly beneficial for me to do the same. I'm thinking something in general like between 8AM and 10AM I do housework stuff. Then I exercise, then from noon to 2:30pm I write. Just a thought.

Until tomorrow.

And So It Begins

I am not the greatest housekeeper. Quite honestly I sort of suck at housekeeping. I also have a problem finishing things. ANY thing. I have started many projects both around the house as well as at-home businesses that have crashed and burned because I have a lack of follow through. Oh look something shiny! That is me. Always finding something awesome to start but as soon as the "fun"wears off I spiral head first into the abyss.

And as I follow these adventures my family suffers. I spend hours upon hours working on or researching whatever my new thing is and I neglect to plan dinner, "forget" to do laundry and somehow allow them to spend hours playing video games or watching television. Then I get frustrated that things are a mess. Well that changes today. Things can no longer stay the same. Over the last few weeks I have been planning how to make slow changes. Fast changes only leave me exhausted and unable to keep up our home. I don't mind the cleaning necessarily. It's the maintenance that is a problem.

So today I begin my year long experiment to make peace with my spirit, develop my writing skills, make my home and my family my main focus and build new, exciting relationships with my family/kids/friends.

I will start each day with a clean slate, celebrating my daily accomplishments and any things that go undone will be released without guilt.

This week I will completely reorganize my kitchen as I incorporate an actual schedule into my daily life.

Daily:

• 3 loads of laundry: This will include washing/drying/folding and putting clothes away. There are 6 of us and the laundry is constantly a mountain which takes over the bathrooms and a corner of my kitchen where the washer and dryer are located.
• Make my bed
• 30 min on organizing the kitchen (this does not include making sure the kitchen is clean after every meal)
• Sweep the hardwood floors (mop twice a week)
• 15 min a day purging the file cabinet with important papers: This normally would not be a priority but we have our taxes done in February so if I spend 15 min for everyday in January then I should have everything organized and ready for our accountant as soon as the W-2 forms arrive
• Writing: Along with this blog and my healthy eating blog I will be writing for a paying client. After the project for my client is completed I will be working on my picture books and novels. The goal is a minimum of 1 hour a day but until my paying project is finished I will be putting in closer to 5-6 hours per day. 
• Packing lunches the night before for kids and hubby
• Take 5 minutes to pickup/put away things before bed

Weekly:

This week is about getting my act together so I will be:

• exercising for at least an hour 3 times per week
• keeping to my meal plan for the week
• make a list of sewing and home improvement projects to start on next week
• home cleaning day: This is going to take place on Thursday this week. I will ignore the clutter and tackle every room: vacuum, sweep, mop, dust, wash all sheets, clean bathrooms.
• Keeping up with our spending and recording it on our budget excel sheet

Monthly:

This month I am instigating the eat-at-home rule where we only eat out once a week. This is to get our budget under control and work on our junk food addict eating habits.

Other new additions to our life are a monthly date night and a monthly family outing. We have busy schedules and our teenagers don't exactly love spending time with Mom and Dad and their younger siblings. So I sat down and designated two weekends: one for each of these. Just so happened that the grandparents let the kids sleepover this past weekend so hubby and I moved up our date night. So far I have the actual date planned for our family outing, I just have to come up with what we are going to do. Thinking of hiking unless it is just freezing here in Georgia. 

This sounds like a lost but as long as I take it one step at a time and take each day as a new start then here's to a new start to go along with a new attitude. I'll keep posting to keep myself honest. 

I've Got a New Attitude

Excitement, fear, terror, anticipation, panic. Yep, I've got all those at once. As I sit here just a few days before the dawn of a new year I worry that I will crash and burn just as I have before. After all, I've been "trying to lose weight" for seven years. Wow, it's really been that long. I worry that I will continue to talk about my dreams rather than taking action or that if it gets to hard then I will abandon all hope and just quit. Again, true story.

And then I realized something. While I may not be exactly where I want to be at the end of 2014, I am way better off than where I was at the end of 2013. My marriage is growing stronger, my relationships with my kids are better, my overall mindset is much more positive and our money situation is controllable. Oh and I've made peace with the fact that I don't have to bring money in to help my family. I am most helpful to my family when I keep control of the money my husband brings in, provide them with clean laundry, teach the kids basic living skills, cook meals and help bring us all together by planning family activities and events. I wish with all my heart that I had discovered the joy in those things many years ago. That is when the sadness takes over. Knowing that our life has been spent with too many unhappy years breaks my heart.

I go forward into 2015 laying the sadness down and picking up the joy that each moment forward is one to embrace and be thankful for. I am thankful for the many blessings of 2014 and I open my arms to receive the amazing experience that is yet to come.

I will take each day as the gift it is and take action to create the life that is waiting for all of us. You see, I've known all along that dreams without action are just wishful thinking. The problem is that it has always been easier to just let things happen instead of making them happen. I can do just enough to get by or I can take the bull by the horns and ride that sucker until we've covered every inch of excitement there is to be had.

What do you say? You ready to give up just existing and start living?

The One Year Mommy Makeover Challenge-Are You Ready for 2015?

We all have those moments where the very idea of staying the same is more than we can bear. We have New Year's resolutions that start with good intentions and end up falling flatter than Fred Flintstone run over by a steamroller. Then comes Spring with all of its hopefulness and a sense of renewal. We are ready to head out into the great outdoors, throw open the windows and let the sun shine in. Somewhere among the joy we discover that while the weather may be beautiful, we are stuck in the same place we were last year. No changes have been made no matter how much we thought we wanted them. So I propose a challenge. Not against other moms but against ourselves. This challenge is designed to help you look at what you really want to change in your life and make baby steps toward that vision. This isn't your average challenge. It is a year long experiment as to how much we can change our lives if we set our minds to it and take action.

Here's the rules:

• The official starting date is Monday, January 5, 2015. (Because I know we all like to start on a Monday)
• The days leading up to January 5 are about enjoying the holidays and our families while creating our lists of goals that we want to accomplish in 2015. What parts of your life do you need to change that will give you a life you want? Remember that you can't change people, you can only change yourself. As you change, so will everything else.
• Consider everything fair game. Key places to look at making changes are: spiritual, health, home, marriage, career, friends and family.
• Look at changing daily habits that will help you reach realistic goals. If you want to lose 20 lbs then you will need to determine how much exercise per day/week you will need to do as well as how you need to change your diet.
• Use a spiral notebook, journal book, or even your own blog to document your progress. Take five minutes a day to jot down how things are going, how you are feeling, or just things you are thankful for.

A new post will appear daily to assist in your journey. (An experiment on my behalf for sure!)
This is a marathon not a sprint. The key is to take everything day by day.
You can join the Facebook page for more encouragement.

Your Activities Reflect What Is Important to You

What did you do today? What have you done this week? I want you to stop for a minute and think about your priorities. Now take a look at how your average week is planned out. Do those activities show the outside world what you hold as your highest priorities?

I'll confess that I have often said that my family is very important to me and yet I don't spend enough time with them or I am short-tempered. I have to consciously put aside the smartphone or stop working (I work from home) and make eye-contact in order to pay attention to what they are trying to tell me. Sadly though, there are times when I don't put away the devices or turn away from the computer. What does this mean?

I understand that people have to work to earn a living to support their children. All of the stories and play time isn't worth much if the kids are starving or you are about to lose your home. I get that. But of the time that is not spent working or if you are a stay-at-home mom there are times when you aren't cooking or cleaning (yes I know that it seems like there is always something to clean); how much of your "free" time is spent in front of the television or on Facebook or even on Candy Crush?

I'm not asking you to feel guilty about some "me" time stolen throughout the day. I'm asking you to stop and look at where your time is spent. You'll be surprised at where some of that 24 hours disappears to. And to the outside person looking in on your life? They would probably label your priorities differently than you would.

Instead of whining about how your children behave or about your dysfunctional relationships with your family, consider what activities you have done lately to fix/mend the problem. To quote a favorite line from the movie We are the Titans " The team's attitude reflects leadership." Your family is your team. They follow YOUR lead. Are you leading? Or are you simply letting things fall where they may?

Is the Idea of Contentment Killing Your Happiness?

If you've heard it once then you've heard it a million-gazillion times (yes gazillion is a number); you should be CONTENT with what you have because there are people in the world (or in your city/town, your neighborhood, heck-even your very own family) who have a worse life than you do. Yes, apparently we should all be CONTENT with our lives because someone else got a bum rap or because someone else made sucky choices. I've got a question for you. WHY? Why do you have to have a life that doesn't make you happy because SOMEONE ELSE isn't happy? 

If you are unhappy or simply "content" to stay where you are then that makes their life better? Should you decide not to have children because someone you know is having a hard time getting pregnant? Should you not go for that promotion because it means more money than anyone in your family has ever earned in their life?

Do you see where I'm going with this? Okay maybe you don't see being content as settling. Maybe you see it as being happy with what you have. That's a great sentiment. IF you are truly happy. And before you start yelling at me, I realize that we should be grateful for what we have and who we have in our lives. After all, not everyone has a roof over their head, a job and people that love them. I get that. This isn't about being ungrateful. 

What I want to know is are you so obsessed with being thankful for the life you have that you haven't stopped to think about what would truly make you happy in life? Would you be happier as a stay-at-home mom? Would you be happier to travel the world? Would you be happier alone? Okay maybe the last one is iffy. This is the MOMMY makeover challenge so being alone isn't really an option. But maybe you want different relationships with your husband/significant other or even different relationships with your kid(s). 

While what you're going through may not be something easy to fix (infants require dirty diaper changes at least once a day cause things can get seriously messy otherwise and toddlers can't be left to make their own dinner) but there is a difference between accepting the season that you are in and sacrificing happiness. You don't have to be the raving lunatic of a mother. You don't have to be the fat mom or the yoga pants mom. You don't have to STAY the working or stay-at-home mom. 

Start thinking about what would make you truly happy. Are there steps you can take to wind your way to that path? Now like I said over here you can't just run away. But do you know the greatest gift you can give your kids is a happy mom? 

Having contentment with your life is often a way to bring peace to yourself. I believe (from personal experience) that you can be thankful for the amazing blessings and gifts that are in your life while still being uncomfortable enough to make the changes necessary. That's what the Mommy Makeover Challenge is all about. Love the life you have and the people that are in it, but get out there and change all of the crappy stuff that makes you miserable. Are you ready to kick contentment across the curb and out of the neighborhood? Stop choking your potential for happiness and get ready for exciting changes. 

Prepping for Awesomtasticly Amazing Change: Eat, Pray, Love: The Mommy Version

Eat, Pray, Love

This story is the essential “needing to find myself” answer. A woman takes off on a year-long journey through Italy and India in order to reconnect with her spirit and discover what is missing in her life. Her journey is interesting and enlightened. The thing is that as mothers with children at home, disappearing for a year is completely unrealistic in any form. (Unless, of course, you are a completely self-centered dumba** And if that's the case then I'm not sure why you're still reading) The good news is that we don’t have to go anywhere to connect to our spirits and our loved ones. 

The Mommy Disconnection

This is the moment in a woman’s life in which she wakes up one day and realizes that a week went by and she only remembers cooking, cleaning and laundry. When someone asks her name she refers to herself as someone’s mother or someone’s wife. She no longer seems to have an identity of her own. This doesn’t mean that being a mom or a wife is a bad thing. The problem is that instead of enjoying the moments of each day you often find yourself wondering around in a fog; cleaning up after your children and doing for them but not teaching them. Somewhere along the way, people told us that it is our job to take care of our children’s needs but forgot to remind us that our job is also to train our children to be productive adults. We need to instruct them on basic life skills such as cooking, cleaning and laundry. We also need to teach them about honest work, integrity, responsibility, compassion, helping others, managing their finances and how to treat their family. You are not just a caretaker and you should look at every day as an adventure, not just one more day to get through without major injury.

What can you teach your children today? Do they make their beds or help load the dishwasher? How many different leaves can they find in the backyard? Do they know how to use a knife and fork or mix up a cake batter?

It’s not about finding anything (other than the fact that no one and nothing can MAKE you happy-it's a decision-but more on that later) , it’s about creating the woman we want to be. Stop trying to figure out how to get back to that passionate individual you were at 18 or 20 years of age. Know what? That ship has sailed and be honest, as “free” as you felt back then, you were an idiot. Acknowledge it and quit romanticizing about what might have been. It is time to honestly evaluate what type of woman you desire to be and figure out what it takes to get there. If you have to “fake it till you make it” then so be it. As a matter of fact, this is often the best way to become that person.

• ·         Do you want to be more responsible with money? Start keeping track of where your money goes. Work out a budget. Learn about investing.
• ·         Do you want to lose weight or simply be healthier? Learn about proper exercise and nutrition techniques. Take action on the knowledge.
• ·         Maybe you want to be more compassionate, reliable, charitable.
• ·         Do your actions match up with your moral beliefs? Do you know what your moral beliefs are?

Life doesn’t happen to us, we decide how life will go. Your life is not the way it is by accident. Each and every decision you made in the past, no matter how insignificant it may have seemed at the time, is what got you where you are today. So quit whining about how awful things are with your finances, your children, your husband, or your career. You got here by choices you made and you can change those same circumstances by the choices you make from this point onward.

 Certainly the attitudes of your husband and children have something to do with the turn that your life takes. How you react to those attitudes will forage the path through the woods and into the clearing that is awaiting you as your peaceful sanctuary. If Sally or Johnny are having a temper tantrum, you falling apart by yelling or crying will only escalate the situation.  The way that you start your day will affect your entire daily living. I am not a morning person but my day must always start before the rest of the household. Without my time to meditate, exercise, shower and dress for the day I am rather cranky. Even on weekends I try to make it up before everyone else if to do nothing more than to grab a cup of coffee and read in silence. Even if you can rise 15 minutes before everyone else, it can help set your day on the right foot. Get dressed, drink some juice or coffee, do a few stretches, or simply check your to do list for the day.

What Kind of Mommy Pit are You In?

If you're not quite sure what I'm talking about then stop for a moment and look around at your life. Are you stuck, overwhelmed, lonely, existing but not living or worse yet, living in the past filled with shame and regret? The walls are closing in around you and everywhere you touch there is no grace or cushion to aide your daily grind/despair.

You're in a pit that is filled with:

• unrealized dreams
• overwhelm with the constant 24/7 care of the little ones
• a chaotic home
• financial debt/stress
• a strained marriage
• health problems and/or extra weight
• low self esteem

Did I miss anything? Ok here's the cool thing; a pit doesn't have a top. Yep, that's right. You can crawl out anytime your ready to tell God/Allah/the Universe that you're done trying to dig yourself out. Because digging yourself out actually just makes the pit deeper and darker. You have to reach out for spiritual guidance and strength to be able to get out of the pit. 

We have to stop complaining about the problems and concentrate on solutions. Taking 10 minutes a day to find a quiet moment and connect to your spirit (pray/meditate) will help you see the way through this time in your life and how to make it better. 

Before we explode at our kids because everyone is talking at once or they just spilled the last of the milk, let's take a deep breath, hold it for 3 seconds and then let it go. Am I perfect at this? Um, no. As a matter-of-fact I have had more yelling moments than I care to admit. However, the more often I try to take a step back and look at it from an outsiders perspective the more I realized that I lose my temper much easier with my own kids than with someone else's. So why am I screaming at my own kids whom I love so much more than the kid down the street? Accountability. There, I said it. If I scream at a neighbor's kid then they are going to go home and tell their parents. 

Unfortunately I forgot the accountability to my own kids in the heat of the moment. Guess what? My heart sees. God sees. One of my own pits has been accepting that I wasn't so patient when all of mine were very little. But I've asked for forgiveness and living in the past cannot change the future. It only keeps us chained down and wallowing in the mud from our tears. 

I have realized that my past choices are the reason that I am in this time and place in my life. While I am in a much better place than just three short years ago, my self esteem and relationships with my husband and kids are not where I want them to be. I've been trying to get out of the pit all by myself. Not working. 

Maybe you're where you are because of someone else's actions. Your husband, your parents, your ex, your boss, someone else pushed you into this pit. 

Or maybe you slipped in on accident. This is what I think happens to most of us. We're doing great then suddenly the mommy thing hits you with something crazy and you just slide right in.

Then there are other times we jump in with both feet. Yeah like when we say we're committed to getting healthy and we still eat that THIRD piece of chocolate cake. 

Let me share something awesome. (Everything is awesome!--yes I just had to add the Lego movie song)

We don't have to stay in the pit any more. All we have to do is reach up and embrace the spiritual peace that is waiting. 

I didn't come up with this theory all by myself. I'm reading 

Get Out of That Pit by Beth Moore. (Yes it's an affiliate link.)